Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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