do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
