Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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