before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
