I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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