There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
