Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
