How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
