So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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