I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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