I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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