I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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