I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
