He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
