awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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