it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
