she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My pussy is not your playground.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
