oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
