We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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