East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
