My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
