even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
