Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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