Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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