You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize