Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
