cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
