my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My life is pants optional.
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