Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
