Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
