So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
