sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
