Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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