People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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