someone get that fucking seahorse.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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