oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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