Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my shit smells like andre
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
