I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
