It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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