I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
