I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize