remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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