We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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