I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
