then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
