Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
