K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
