I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
