loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
