saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
