I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
