Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize