Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
