I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
