Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
