Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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