I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize