I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
