He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
