i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
