I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
