Small penises have feelings too.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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