How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
