Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
