Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
