That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
