so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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