Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
