his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
