know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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