I am in a vortex of obligation.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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