We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
