My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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