I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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