I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
