Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
