How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
