i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize