He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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