You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
