i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize