Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
